Friday 4 January 2013

The NCT... MY NCT...

One of the biggest influences on my journey into motherhood is the National Childbirth Trust (NCT). Yet, I have never posted about it.

Short version of the reason behind that is; because it's hard to separate the NCT as a charitable organisation of support, from the specific group of ladies, bumps to babies and fellas we have met through them.

The organisation itself does wonderful things. Offers information, support, networking opportunities. I believe in the NCT's mission statement, it would get a share of my Lottery win and I look forward to the day the NCT has the funding to support a more diverse spectrum of the community. If charity, education, manners and a range of other societal necessities start at home then the NCT could change it all, no?

I won't separate them. Fact is if the NCT didn't exist my maternity leave and path into becoming a mother wouldn't be what it is.

If I back up a moment I will tell you that from my observations of friends, family members and colleagues who had babies I recognised a common problem was isolation. I made a pact with myself that would not be me. I joined Baby Centre, I invested myself in my local community, I reconnected with old friends with children and I signed up for the NCT antenatal course. Most importantly I smiled ALOT.

Session 1. Ice-breakers. I spy a common ground or two. She is in to theatre. Her over there is a teacher. Her husband is an Arsenal fan. He's sniggered at Steve's inappropriate joke (mutual cringe). Lunch dates made, a few polite pre-baby afternoons are shared. These are followed by births, babies, boobies out, details of the great untolds are spilled. Voila! Great friends made.

We talk. We cry (me more than most). We talk. We eat cake. We talk. We attend baby activities. We talk. We caffeinate. We talk. It's good.

A problem shared is a problem... My NCT ladies probably also have and that makes it seem less like a problem and more like great cake conversation.

Lesson

Remember this is not the advice blog (more the "hey against the odds my baby is STILL alive and out of social care" blog), but if I were offering mothering advisory tidbits it would be along the lines of "don't do it alone". Find friends. Share the experience. The NCT is a wonderful vessel for this.
Thanks girls xxx You've been wonderful xxx

3 comments:

  1. What a wonderful community resource. I'm trying to remember a similar group in the US, but I don't think there is one around here.

    Following from Friendship Friday blog hop at Create With Joy.

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  2. Hey! I followed you through the "I Love my Post" blog hop! So glad I found your blog, i'm a new follower :) Come follow back if you'd like!

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  3. Lovely post! I didn't do the NCT. I was 27 when I had my first child and was the first of my friendship group by many years. I felt too young to be chatting to ladies in their mid-30s about baby stuff and I also didn't want to pay for something that was free on the NHS! So I went it alone. Three times over. It worked for me (just about), but I always wonder if things would have been different and me and the kids would have been just a little bit different if I'd braved the NCT. I suspect they would have been!

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