Thursday, 18 April 2013

A Letter to My Daughter... Because I Want to Give Her a Sibling...

Dear Euna

We want to give you a sibling. We want to be parents to another. We want to give us a larger family. And I want to tell you why.

I want you to have a constant friend. A friend who will know you their whole life. A friend you can have round for tea every night. A friend who's toys are here everyday. A friend who will talk to you everyday. A friend you can bring on holiday, every holiday.

I want to even the score for you. Two grown ups and one child just isn't fair. How do you ever expect to convince us to buy you a dog on your own? What kind of bargaining power will you ever have to change the channel on your own? You need back-up and we want to give it to you.

We've had the most wonderful time together, alone. Just you and I. This time is engraved in me and has changed me forever and because of that (and infinite other reasons) don't ever underestimate how important you are to me. That said you need so much more than just a Mummy can give, than I can teach you, show you and experience with you. You need to share, negotiate, argue, apologise, love, hate and sacrifice. You can't do those things with me and you can't just do them occasionally when you see a friend. If it ever looks like I'm ignoring you, I'm not (actually I might be but it'll be essential) and also I'm making all this stuff happen for you.

Your childhood and family are a huge part of you. No one will get your particular brand of childhood and family like a sibling. No one else will really have lived this part of you like a sibling. You will be able to share these stories, memories, jokes, events, traditions and values with someone forever.

"Forever" brings me to the part makes me feel a bit sick. Your forever isn't my forever. Everything being right in the universe I won't see all of your forever. But if everything is right then they will. If there's ever a time I can't be there, I hope to give you someone who will be.

Finally, baby girl, you're going to be the most epic big sister there ever was. I see it. I see you want to wipe my face with a baby wipe. I see you feed your little friend Josh raisins. I see you cuddle everything, my cuddle-bug. I see your patience and your kindness and your humour already. I know you have so much love to give a sibling. You're going to be wonderful, I'm already proud.

I need you to know this is all with you mind. This is all from love for you. I need to write it down and know it for both of us if it ever feels like I've run out of hands, eyes or hours in the day.

All my love

Mummy

So friends... This also my way of telling you...
Can you see???
 Just to be clear...
Due 29th October... I love this baby already!

We're so happy and so grateful xxx
Ni Hao Yall

39 comments:

  1. Congratulations! I am so happy for you :)

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    1. Thank you for linking up to Raising Imperfection! We appreciate you taking the time to link up, make sure to check back on Friday when we feature out favorites.
      Leslie

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  2. that is so beautiful it made me cry. huge congratulations!! im so excited for all of you xx

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  3. Woooo! So exciting - congratulations! :)

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  4. Oh, congratulations and beautiful pictures!

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  5. I am SO excited for you!! That is awesome!

    Thank you for linking to Raising Imperfection.
    Please come back Friday to see if you were featured. :)

    ¤´¨)
    ¸.•*´
    (¸¤ Lanaya | xoxo
    www.raising-reagan.com

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  6. OH MY GOODNESS!!!! I have tears flowing down my face. How beautifully written and what a wonderful, WONDERFUL surprise at the end! C O N G R A T U L A T I O N S! A beautiful #magicmoment.
    Can't wait to hear more about this next stage in your parenting journey. :) xx

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  7. Ahh congratulations!!! Such a beautiful letter to your beautiful little girl. Good luck with the next 6 months!! X

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  8. What a wonderful wonderful letter and fantastic reveal at the end!! Congratulations to you all! x

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  9. Oh what a beautiful way to announce the news, and what a wonderful way of looking at how to introduce a new baby to a child. Very magical indeed. #magicmoments xx

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  10. Oh this is wonderful - I'm sat at my desk at work in tears. Beautiful words which will one day mean so much to your girl. HUGE congratulations!! xx

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  11. OMG my first pregnancy announcement on #magicmoments i am so so made up for you!! and super honored you to chose to link up to do it!

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  12. What a beautiful post! Congratulations :)

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  13. Oh my word, congratulations, this is beautiful - thank you for making me cry happy tears!

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  14. Congratulations that's wonderful news....

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  15. That is a mega story, and beautifully delivered. Congratulations. Just a shame about the date - one week earlier, and your baby would be a Libran!!!!!

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  16. This is so beautiful and exactly what I would have wanted to write to my son. Congratulations x

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  17. Very young child to be having another so soon. Quite unfair really that you're not giving them enough time to bond with you before making them share!

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  18. EEK! Be a little more sensitive please, as many people, including myself, are unable medically to provide a sibling for our child. Your blog post is really, really hurtful :(

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  19. congrats on baby, happy for you, but please be considerate of other people's feelings!
    there's nothing wrong with not having a sibling! 2 parents and one child is not unfair, nor should anyone feel sad for singletons - so insensitive of you to make that comment!

    We have 6 children and planning to have more, so I'm all for big families, but I can't stand people making other people feel bad with frankly quite dumb statements like "you need so much more than just a Mummy can give".
    we have a lot of friends who barely managed to have a daughter or a son and having a second child was simply not possible.
    one friend had her baby at 26 weeks and with her kidney problems they both almost died. poor dad/husband was going back and forth between to hospitals' NICU/ICU for weeks dreading that one or both won't make it.
    9 years on they are pretty happy and he's a great kid with lots of friends, cousins and with all the love his Mum and Dad can give!

    and a word about being an "epic" big sister - just you wait until she pokes her finger in baby's eyes or bites his/her toes. or cries with a high pitched shriek because you are attending to baby. or when they fight and whinge and fight some more. please promise that you'll blog when she makes the younger sibling drink her pee or sit on their head.
    I'm sure there will be times when they will be lovely together, but you'd better prepare for when they are not.

    I'm glad you have a positive view about your future, but I do worry you have no realistic ideas about what to expect.

    I wish you all the best!

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  20. Oh what a beautiful letter! If only I'd thought of something as precious when I had a sibling for my 12 year old 9 years ago. Yes they do fall out but when it comes to the crunch they're. ALWAYS right there looking out for each other.
    Having 2 sisters myself and then 3 daughters of my own I can totally understand what you mean about giving them something only a sibling can provide.
    Back up, someone to share secrets, have those late night giggle fests!!

    Love it

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    1. Again...sigh..some people can't have more than one child.

      Why make them fell even worse than they already do? How horrible some of you are :(

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    2. It's not about you Anon. Here's a grip > GRIP < Take it because you obviously need it.

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    3. This blog isn't about me, it wasn't wrote for me.... Nor was t for YOU!

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  21. Pretty crazy that this unbelievably beautiful post has encouraged any negativity, actually quite cross that anonymous people would post nasty comments to such a wonderful moment shared. I find it sad that no one ever in this negative world can just be happy for a strangers bliss, overwhelmed by such a lovely story. Why couldn't it of brightened your day? It certainally brightened mine when i read it & teared up for this happy couple i dont know. My sister is going through IVF treatment and has had trouble conceiving for 5 yrs, I gave birth within this time and she has never shown jealousy or upset by my blessing. She has felt blessed for me and with me. Don't be ignorant to the wonder and happiness, promoting negativity is just disgusting and abusive! Congratulations to u all, love & light <3

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    1. The blog post is offensive.

      "Two grown ups and one child just isn't fair"

      "you need back-up and we want to give it to you"

      "you need so much more than just a Mummy can give, than I can teach you, show you and experience with you. You need to share, negotiate, argue, apologise, love, hate and sacrifice. You can't do those things with me and you can't just do them occasionally when you see a friend"

      DISGUSTING. Some people CANNOT have more than one child!! Statements like those above are ignorant and deeply hurtful. I am incensed and feel that Charlie should change the wording.

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    2. Why should she? It's HER blog. She's not writing it to please You! Or anyone else for that matter.

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  22. Also I am one of two born close, I'm a twin! Did I loose out on much needed bonding time with my parents?? Xx

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  23. What a beautiful letter. The people saying this blog post is offensive have their own issues and are being pretty offensive themselves and projecting with their comments.

    Anonymous posters - this lovely letter is not about you, it's about a mother expressing her love for her child and introducing another child, for you to label this as 'DISGUSTING' is totally out of order and you should be ashamed of yourselves.

    We had fertility problems and were blessed with twins. Siblings are great and I am so glad ours have each other.

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  24. Every family is different and blessed with happiness of troubled at different points. This post is about what is right for CHARLIE'S family, not anyone else's.

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  25. Please don't read her blog again if it offends you so turkey. U have re checked this page to see if you have had replies to your narcissistic rant about how disturbing Charlie's words are. Your words are by far more disturbing to me as a mother. if I was/will be blessed with just one child I would feel he also is cheated and sharing the amazing bond that comes with having siblings as I have grown up that way. Clearly u were an only child and that has somewhat made u defensive here. Charlie's wonderful post to her children is magical. You can't discredit it at all. And your words don't warrant all the positive comments she has received. Children thrive with children holding there hands not just mummy and daddy and a sibling is the best blessing for a young child. This is a blog about Charlie's life and her passionate words are inspiring. If u read it with hate in your mind then they won't be, always soz end who has to play the woe is me hateful scenario...My positivity is not naivety, as your apathy is not realism. if you can't celebrate others then you are best off in a cave.

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    1. ''if I was/will be blessed with just one child I would feel he also is cheated and sharing the amazing bond that comes with having siblings as I have grown up that way. Clearly u were an only child and that has somewhat made u defensive here.''

      Everything about that paraphrase above is hurtful. How can you not see that? I am over the moon for Charlie, the gift of pregnancy and birth is amazing. But i felt that everyones commments about an only child being lonely and unfair on the child etc really painful as we cant have any more, i got pregnant twice and the second time my son was old enough to be so excited to have a sibling as i made all the same grand claims to him that Charlie is making to her daughter. Sadly we had to explain to him at three years old, and me 5 months pregnant, that this baby was not to be, and he probably wont ever have a sibling. Please understand that all of this is not bitterness and jealousy from me or any of the other 'anon's. It is not 'defensiveness from only children themselves' It is trying to get the message across that we are not being 'selfish or unfair' on our single/only children. Sometimes we dont have a choice and to have attitudes like this is just plain hurtful.

      As an aside - congratulations Charlie - as i said earlier, the gift of pregnancy is a miracle. Not a given - but i am sure you already know this :0)

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    2. Cara. I was one of 3 children in my family, not an only child, yet for medical reasons I have only been able to have one beautiful, fulfilled child.

      Charlie's post was insensitive, but yours takes the biscuit and I think you know it. 'cheated' ffs! You are asking for karma to bite you on the ass big time.

      I do hope you are more sensitive in RL and that you don't have to experience the pain of not being able to have a second child.

      Bleugh. Horrible people :(

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  26. I don't think the blog post is offensive, but it is pretty insensitive. And some of you in support of it are very offensive: "if I was/will be blessed with just one child I would feel he also is cheated"..."clearly u were an only child and that has somewhat made u defensive here".

    Did you mean to be so rude Cara?

    I can assure you that my one child is not "cheated" in any way, and has a lovely life - and I say that as one of three myself. She has not once asked for a sibling, which is just as well as following treatment for cancer (how dare I go and get cancer instead of providing her with a sibling!) I am unable to have any more children. Must be a crap mom then huh?!

    You really need to think about your words and how they may upset others, get a grip please.

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  27. My words were not to cause a battle it is my own opinion, which for u promoting that an only child is happy is your opinion as it is your life. I grew up with siblings & so my opinion is based on my own experiences, fact, creations...I'm not set to offend anyone I'm supporting Charlie's blog and I myself would not be offended if you tell me an opinion different to my own, I would simply disagree which I have done in my comments. I apologise if I myself have said mis-led words that construe hurt but you have to expect that people will support and disagree with your action to put the comments you did. Charlie's blog is about her life & her words are her opinions much like mine are my own. I appreciate others views on childhood, parenting & having struggled with losing a child myself I would never be so rude to comment unkindly on that, you have simple take offence where none was given. And to try & encourage that I stated that your own child is cheated, that is untrue. I expressed that my self, my opinion, i would feel cheated as i had a wonderful childhood with four siblings to share it with. i certainally dont think it is necessary to put words into my mouth that you are a bad mother for having a severe illness, thats very unsettling & unkind.

    I so hope Charlie will take inspiration from the supportive comments & carry on writing true to herself and her family. It would be very sad if your comments had a negative effect on this post & her blog. That is the main reason I felt the want to express a similar opinion to Charlie & support her.

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I appreciate, read and reply to all comments, I would LOVE to hear what you think today...

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